Hapkamkapingwip is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful giraffe.

Hapkamkapingwip created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hapkamkapingwip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hapkamkapingwip, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hapkamkapingwip's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Hapkamkapingwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near eagles while wearing red coats and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your head.

4. Always help ants.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.