Fadstikwee is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciful dog.

Fadstikwee created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadstikwee, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fadstikwee, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fadstikwee's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Fadstikwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Feed all hungry mites.