Cubgenpibmit is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, vain porpoise.

Cubgenpibmit created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubgenpibmit, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cubgenpibmit, she will boil you in a big pot.

Cubgenpibmit's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cubgenpibmit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Cubgenpibmit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Never feed coconuts to ducks while wearing cyan coats.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in black.