Sisfitgab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, self-confident pigeon.

Sisfitgab created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisfitgab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Sisfitgab, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sisfitgab's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Sisfitgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine pigs in a large pit.

2. Do not eat garlic.

3. Never talk about dark matter near great tits while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing eight iron spheres on your head.

4. Never feed beans to sheep while wearing scarves.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.