Sisquammig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fussy spider.

Sisquammig created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sisquammig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sisquammig, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Sisquammig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Sisquammig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Sisquammig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Run away if three ducks approach from the north.

4. Always obey Sisquammig's priests.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.