Fagbogvonkop is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, caring scorpion.

Fagbogvonkop created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Fagbogvonkop, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fagbogvonkop, he will turn you into a mouse.

Fagbogvonkop's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Fagbogvonkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. You must love Fagbogvonkop.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Fagbogvonkop loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Never eat green fruit.