Tanponbonkgub is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent scorpion.

Tanponbonkgub created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanponbonkgub, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tanponbonkgub, he will turn you into a worm.

Tanponbonkgub's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tanponbonkgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Never eat lentils.