Weeruttjin is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless octopus.

Weeruttjin created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Weeruttjin, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Weeruttjin, it will turn you into a plant.

Weeruttjin's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Weeruttjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide from purple turtles for they are unholy.

3. Never write about quantum field theory.

4. Hide if eight geese approach from the north.

5. Do not take Weeruttjin's name in vain.