Cetbadvogbagmitcedkamyatt Vonlimbastmetnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured slug.

Cetbadvogbagmitcedkamyatt Vonlimbastmetnurt created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Cetbadvogbagmitcedkamyatt Vonlimbastmetnurt, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cetbadvogbagmitcedkamyatt Vonlimbastmetnurt, he will be very unhappy.

Cetbadvogbagmitcedkamyatt Vonlimbastmetnurt's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Cetbadvogbagmitcedkamyatt Vonlimbastmetnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine ants approach from the north.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing orange scarves and balancing five iron spheres on your chest.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.