Yokpanfad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, conceited hamster.

Yokpanfad created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokpanfad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yokpanfad, she will try to impress you with trees.

Yokpanfad's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Yokpanfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to grasshopers while wearing violet rings.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think about gravity near sharks while wearing black skirts and balancing four zinc spheres on your back.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.