Afafjon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, confident narwhal.

Afafjon created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Afafjon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Afafjon, it will turn you into a mole.

Afafjon's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Afafjon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Afafjon on top of important buildings.

2. Never think ill of sick snakes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near manatees while wearing brown rings.