Tofhivfum is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, flying aardvark.

Tofhivfum created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tofhivfum, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tofhivfum, it will think nothing of it.

Tofhivfum's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tofhivfum's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never mention great tits.

4. Never hurt otters.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.