Zigrangud is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, vain monkey.

Zigrangud created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigrangud, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zigrangud, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zigrangud's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Zigrangud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near dolphins while wearing white trousers.

2. Never talk about optics.

3. Never laugh near pigs.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Always treat ants with great respect.