Toffodzan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, selfish manatee.

Toffodzan created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Toffodzan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Toffodzan, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Toffodzan's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Toffodzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

2. Hide if three cats approach from the east.

3. Run away if nine dogs approach from the south.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Retreat if seven frogs approach from the north.