Gilfagban is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, impressive troll.

Gilfagban created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gilfagban, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gilfagban, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gilfagban's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Gilfagban's Holy Commandments

1. Gilfagban loves doves, so they must be honoured.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never feed spinach to ants while wearing black scarves.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.