Quafyattcin is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, overgenerous narwhal.

Quafyattcin created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Quafyattcin, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quafyattcin, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quafyattcin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Quafyattcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Hide if four nematodes approach from the south.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Worship no other gods but Quafyattcin.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.