Veenhogarn is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, confident spider.

Veenhogarn created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenhogarn, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Veenhogarn, he will jump up and down on your head.

Veenhogarn's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Veenhogarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest violet.

2. Never think about special relativity near ducks while wearing indigo trousers and balancing six lead spheres on your neck.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Veenhogarn must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.