Nillsawbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome penguin.

Nillsawbaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillsawbaf, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nillsawbaf, it will laugh at you.

Nillsawbaf's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Nillsawbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near eagles while wearing green hats and balancing nine zinc spheres on your hands.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near snakes while wearing violet coats and balancing seven platinum spheres on your neck.