Dinvoltof is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, merciless hyena.

Dinvoltof created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinvoltof, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dinvoltof, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Dinvoltof's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Dinvoltof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Dinvoltof in the centre of the settlement.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dinvoltof.