Quamvolgab is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, ill-tempered armadillo.

Quamvolgab created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamvolgab, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quamvolgab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quamvolgab's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Quamvolgab's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quamvolgab.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

4. You must love Quamvolgab.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.