Govstikfob Carwotflis is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, proud lion.

Govstikfob Carwotflis created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Govstikfob Carwotflis, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Govstikfob Carwotflis, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Govstikfob Carwotflis' most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Govstikfob Carwotflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never eat pineapples.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.