Begcissved is a god.

It takes the form of a large, selfish wolf.

Begcissved created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begcissved, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Begcissved, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Begcissved's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Begcissved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Begcissved in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Never feed figs to sharks while wearing dresses.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.