Zedditing is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unjust tapir.

Zedditing created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedditing, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zedditing, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zedditing's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Zedditing's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight sharks approach from the east.

2. Never sit in the presence of horses.

3. Hide from indigo dogs for they are unholy.

4. Zedditing loves turtles, so they must be respected.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.