Gunbunget Laktunzed is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring dragon.

Gunbunget Laktunzed created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunbunget Laktunzed, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gunbunget Laktunzed, he will strike you with lightening.

Gunbunget Laktunzed's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Gunbunget Laktunzed's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Do not cook food in pots.