Tettihamkik is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome owl.

Tettihamkik created gold two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettihamkik, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tettihamkik, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tettihamkik's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tettihamkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never feed lots of bread to snakes while wearing violet trousers.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never skip near goats.