Tetticarpop is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, thoughtless walrus.

Tetticarpop created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tetticarpop, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tetticarpop, he will not care at all.

Tetticarpop's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tetticarpop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tetticarpop in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.