Gatnurbab is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, blissful lobster.

Gatnurbab created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatnurbab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gatnurbab, it will send you a sign.

Gatnurbab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gatnurbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Gatnurbab on top of all buildings.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.