Wigruldub is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic hummingbird.

Wigruldub created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wigruldub, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wigruldub, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wigruldub's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Wigruldub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not take Wigruldub's name in vain.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Retreat if four seals approach from the south.

5. Always stare at clouds.