Hasgubwikjop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonourable wasp.

Hasgubwikjop created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasgubwikjop, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hasgubwikjop, it will turn you into a plant.

Hasgubwikjop's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Hasgubwikjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. You must pray to Hasgubwikjop eight times a day.

5. Do not shave your feet.