Cemqueegwik Ragligbap Cablopdod is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered meerkat.

Cemqueegwik Ragligbap Cablopdod created the Sombrero Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemqueegwik Ragligbap Cablopdod, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cemqueegwik Ragligbap Cablopdod, it will come to you in dreams.

Cemqueegwik Ragligbap Cablopdod's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Cemqueegwik Ragligbap Cablopdod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Always wear red.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never think about nucleic acids.