Flamstantarp is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omniscient whale.

Flamstantarp created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamstantarp, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flamstantarp, it will turn you into a goat.

Flamstantarp's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Flamstantarp's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise otters for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Flamstantarp loves ants, so they must be respected.

5. Always wear red.