Watrowpit is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered goose.

Watrowpit created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watrowpit, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Watrowpit, it will destroy your home planet.

Watrowpit's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Watrowpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near birds while wearing mauve dresses and balancing five platinum spheres on your head.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. You must pray to Watrowpit eight times a day.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.