Negjinhat Zan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, strong dolphin.

Negjinhat Zan created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negjinhat Zan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Negjinhat Zan, she will refuse to believe in you.

Negjinhat Zan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Negjinhat Zan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing five gold spheres on your head.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Never write about amino acids.