Gep is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, amazing gorilla.

Gep created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gep, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gep, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Gep's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gep's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never chant in the presence of manatees.