Loopsasvolnulhugditbimfit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, generous hippopotamus.

Loopsasvolnulhugditbimfit created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Loopsasvolnulhugditbimfit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Loopsasvolnulhugditbimfit, he will refuse to believe in you.

Loopsasvolnulhugditbimfit's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Loopsasvolnulhugditbimfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Feed all hungry nematodes.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect your elders.