Cussbiss Hontargril is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, emotional eagle.

Cussbiss Hontargril created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cussbiss Hontargril, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cussbiss Hontargril, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cussbiss Hontargril's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Cussbiss Hontargril's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near foxes while wearing blue dresses and balancing nine carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never paint your arms brown.

4. Never think ill of sick ants.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.