Bettonkcit is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, vain capybara.

Bettonkcit created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Bettonkcit, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bettonkcit, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bettonkcit's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bettonkcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never think about dark energy near squirrels while wearing fawn shirts and balancing five tin spheres on your hands.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.