Yokhimsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, merciless hamster.

Yokhimsaf created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokhimsaf, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yokhimsaf, it will turn you into a dog.

Yokhimsaf's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yokhimsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Erect five nickel sculptures of Yokhimsaf on top of important buildings.

3. Worship no other gods but Yokhimsaf.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never go into blue rooms.