Jontipab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, contented mouse.

Jontipab created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jontipab, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jontipab, it will be very sad.

Jontipab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Jontipab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt turtles.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.