Tunzedlun is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, witless rhinoceros.

Tunzedlun created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunzedlun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tunzedlun, he will be very unhappy.

Tunzedlun's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Tunzedlun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.