Funquaffen Gabvenmipgud is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless jackal.

Funquaffen Gabvenmipgud created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Funquaffen Gabvenmipgud, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Funquaffen Gabvenmipgud, he will turn you into a worm.

Funquaffen Gabvenmipgud's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Funquaffen Gabvenmipgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always help badgers.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Funquaffen Gabvenmipgud on top of all buildings.