Gombegcut is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, prudent clam.

Gombegcut created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gombegcut, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gombegcut, it will strike you with lightening.

Gombegcut's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Gombegcut's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.