Teenripsag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage bird.

Teenripsag created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenripsag, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Teenripsag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Teenripsag's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Teenripsag's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are not to be trusted.

2. Never feed peas to snakes while wearing black coats.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never think about quantum field theory.

5. Do not dye your hair red.