Zaglopfit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, grumpy fairy.

Zaglopfit created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Zaglopfit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zaglopfit, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zaglopfit's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zaglopfit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four zinc sculptures of Zaglopfit on top of important buildings.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zaglopfit.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near doves while wearing mauve tights.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.