Zimnaddimfet is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy hydra.

Zimnaddimfet created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Zimnaddimfet, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zimnaddimfet, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zimnaddimfet's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Zimnaddimfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Never hurt ducks.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zimnaddimfet.

4. Never laugh near bats.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.