Fubteen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, vain bat.

Fubteen created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubteen, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fubteen, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fubteen's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fubteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never hop near whales.

3. Do not take Fubteen's name in vain.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.