Cunwitvil Gildinfub is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, stupid penguin.

Cunwitvil Gildinfub created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunwitvil Gildinfub, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cunwitvil Gildinfub, she will not care at all.

Cunwitvil Gildinfub's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cunwitvil Gildinfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about optics.

4. Never laugh in the presence of mites.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near rats while wearing violet jumpers and balancing five nickel spheres on your arms.