Tigjopgof is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, tranquil swan.

Tigjopgof created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigjopgof, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tigjopgof, it will destroy your favourite star.

Tigjopgof's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tigjopgof's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine capybaras approach from the north.

2. Never talk about rats.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Run away from red great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Never paint your arms fawn.