Bidhaparn is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, tranquil armadillo.

Bidhaparn created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidhaparn, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bidhaparn, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bidhaparn's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bidhaparn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not kill bats.