Hatsakzod is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witty aardvark.

Hatsakzod created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatsakzod, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Hatsakzod, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hatsakzod's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hatsakzod's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. You must love Hatsakzod.

3. Never feed melons to tortoises while wearing black scarves.

4. Hatsakzod loves badgers, so they must be respected.

5. Run away from magenta turtles, for they are unholy.